A Guide to Finding your Personal Style

Personal style is just as important as breakfast, well, to me at least!

I am so tired of hearing of hearing the phrases:

• Live life like nobody's watching!

• Who care what other people think?!

• That outfit looks trashy/ is inappropriate!

  • In the context of a "hot or not" side by side comparison

• Don't wear that, wear this!

  • In the context of blindly following a suggestion that doesn't resolve a problem

• Check out our new collection!

  • In the context of fast fashion

• Don't worry about stereotypes, just wear what makes you feel good!

  • In the context of wearing what you want, yet you still aren't able to feel good

• We'll they shouldn't have been wearing that...

Now let me tell you why.

We live in a society with social norms and the aforementioned phrases completely sweep this prevalent reality under the rug. There's a fine line between dressing for other people and dressing for yourself. However, in some cases it's more like a large painted crosswalk.

I'll explain.

Imagine you work an office job. Your style will likely face some constraint considering typical HR standards. This is not bad or good, it just is. You wake up one morning and you'd love nothing more than to wear sweatpants and a hoodie to work. Do you? No. The distinction here is as obvious as a large painted crosswalk. Instead, you get dressed in an outfit that's work appropriate. You decide on the stretchy waist pants and swap the blazer for a cardigan and head to work. You're not wearing sweatpants but you're more comfortable than if you were in a full suit, but still not as comfortable as if you were to wear your sweats. So, why don't you just wear the sweatsuit? Considering the possible repercussions based on the standards (legal, social, and/or otherwise) set in this environment, that would be ridiculous.

So then instead of telling the masses what stylistic choices are "in" or "out", I am taking an individualistic approach to personal preferences while also considering the possible repercussions based on the legal, social, and/or otherwise set standards in a particular environment.

Simply put, people are watching. How do you want to portrait yourself to the world as you go about various activities in your life?

I do care what people think. Not all the time in every situation, but enough for me to consider my first impression in casual passing because it does determine how people approach, respond to, and address you. This isn't good or bad, it just is. Do I wan't people to leave me alone because I'm just going to get gas? Or do I want new people to approach me because I'm going to an event to make new friends?

(However, if you, my dear reader, ever treat someone poorly, disrespect, or act in a way that's even remotely adjacent in character to being "hate crime" or assaulting towards someone in public - blatantly, inconspicuously, physically, and/ or verbally - entirely unprovoked, shame on you, don't be like that. Not even if you had a bad day.)

Clothing may only be labeled as appropriate or inappropriate in the context of circumstances. Wearing a "trashy" outfit to a trashy outfit convention is 100% acceptable. Wearing a modest heavy knit sweater and dress pants is inappropriate if it's 90 degrees outside. Wearing nothing but pasties and skimpy lingerie to work is 100% appropriate if you're a "nighttime ballerina". Wearing a well fitting dress suit is inappropriate if you're going to get a full body tan on the beach. There is a time and place for just about everything.

Learn when certain "looks" are or are not appropriate for specific situation. Even if the hypothetical outfit in question is inappropriate for a specific context of circumstances, it will likely be acceptable in another time and place.

Lets talk about what they wearing...

At no point in time should someones stylistic decision be a reason for them to be assaulted in any way. In the same vein, it is important to be aware of the repercussions of the stylistic decisions you make. For example, I do not go out in skimpy outfits alone because I don't know how to fight. (It's funny but I'm also so serious, I need to take MMA or firearm classes, LOL). I make sure Mr.Wonderful or another one of my friends is with me so I can wear my "fun" fits while also being in general comfort of my safety.

On the other hand, if you wear a politically provoking graphic tee that promotes violence in any way towards a specific group, I'd highly suggest that you also maintain awareness of your surroundings. If you're going to be dumb, you gotta be tough. Hopefully that wasn't going to be one of your stylistic picks anyway!

Again, flaunting is not an invitation for touching or gawking! If you do that, stop. Don't be weird and hold your friends accountable if they are.

Your sense of fashion style is about SO much more than what makes you feel good. It's about finding a way to portrait yourself within the practical constraints of your environments.

There are social norms and alternatives, some accepted more than others.  How do you view yourself?  How do you want to be viewed?  What treatment do you want within society?  What’s the first impression you want someone to have of you?  Why is style important to you?  How are you looking to connect with others through your style?  What do trends mean to you?

All of this in mind, I created a person style guide for women. I am also working on one geared towards people who prefer a masculine style.

(Edit: Here's the one for masculine style - Click Here)

This style guide is unique because it doesn't specify what you "should" wear. Instead, it takes you through a series of questions to help you become more aware of yourself and your practical needs. Keeping those variables in mind, the guide takes you through a process of curating a wardrobe that is ideal for you!

Grab a pen and check it out for yourself: Click Here

P.S. When I have the time, I will be turning this into a proper e-book/ e-guide. :)